is the 5th March, 2010.

the day i used to look forward to.

the day i used to be excited for.

the day i used to dream about.

the day i used to wish to for.

the day i used to love most.

but is all months ago.

is amazing to look back and realised how things are back then.

how i used to think. how i used to behave.

i still rmb vividly how i used to tell people regarding it.

how firmly i stand by telling others my point about it.

i used to be that girl who sees him as my first love, my true love.

 no matter how handsome or cute or nice some other guys are,

to me, all that matters was him back then.

yep, that was me.

back then.

but everything came crushing down.

i wasnt ready to share with anyone.

everything was kept inside.

appearing happy and smiling everyday as usual.

but deep inside, no one knows how badly i felt.

everytime i part with my friends, i was back to the girl, who's feeling miserable.

tearing upon songs i heard, tearing till i fell asleep.

i lost my pillar of support.

i lost someone whom was the closet to me.

ya.. my parents were not even close to me as compared.

i lost someone whom i always turn to, whether im happy or sad.

had u ever felt that way.

when u had something happy or sad. and u took ur phone out to want to sms de first person tt came to ur mind.

but u realised, u no longer can share it with that person.

and den, u jus stared blankly at ur phone.

while everyone else is sharing with someone special.

i doubt anyone would really understand.

is like being lost. walkin in the world aimlessly.

when ur world used to revolve around someone else.

i wrote all my feelings in a private blog. when i couldn tell anyone.

and as expected, was crying.

it isnt easy in the beginning.

but i was glad i had friends like R, I, J, E, W to cheer me up.

i could rmb what R told me when i told him tt time wont heals.

"is not time that heals the wound, it is the events that flow along time that heals it",

and indeed, i got better.

but jus when i got better, he came back into my life.

i was almost close to being soft-hearted when he did something tt i never tot he ever would.

but then, someone was there to guide me.

 i know that wasnt wad i wanted anymore.

being left alone for months, it wasnt easy.

but gladly, things sort of got better somehow.

there are some issues in between but then, at least we're frens now.

5th year anniversary, ex-flame.
though it was a tough time back then,
but i know somehow these have moulded me into a stronger person today.

and i know that if i had a chance, i wont hope it did not happen.

cause, at least now, when i fall.

i know there will be someone there to not only hold me,

but to guide me to be stronger person.

:]

thankyou for guiding me all along.

thankyou for always teaching me.

thankyou for always being there.

as u know, i arent good with words.

but what matters,

when the simplest words carry the most meaningful meaning beneath it.

hello, forever.