I know is a weird timing to be still awake.

But then i recently, or rather or the time, i've been thinking alot.

Now that my blog is read by less than a handful of close friends.

I can write a little more about what have gone thru my life, this yr.

In the beginning of this yr, things were still okay, i suppose?

I don't rmb when things start to change.

When i finally realise i'm not really into that someone.

Maybe is my fault that time.

If i could go back into time, i wouldn't have.

But i know, if it wasnt for that, i wouldn't have been who i'm now.

In case u haven figure out wad i'm referring to from the past few sentences,

it is referring to my most recent past relationship.

Initially i was really positive abt the relationship.

But then all the positivity starts to crumble down ever since that particular matter.

Maybe in the beginning, it wasn't positivity to begin with.

Is just something that i thought i had.

Even since that matter, somehow or another, i was letting go.

It wasnt difficult and if u knew, i had mentioned i havent cried at all.

And a feeling in me just tells me that i wont.

Maybe that's why i seem so okay.

Truth is, i wasnt even very attracted and into him.

Frankly, i wished i had been brave and walked away earlier.

If it wasn't for that, i wouldn't have wasted both of our time.

But honestly, i was upset.

Not cause of anything to do with the relationship.

But rather, how could someone who told u that u meant so much to them just change so quickly and start calling u hurtful stuff when the last msg u received frm them was well wishes?

I was upset because i was with someone who isn't real.

And ever since i knew abt it, even more i dun feel anything abt de breakup.

Just that i wished things didnt even start at all.

So now that i've seen how people really do change.

It makes me build up my wall even further.

Cause things change, people change.

That's life, isn't it?

But sometimes it jus hurts knowing that thr's no one person whom u can truely trust tt wont change.

That wont ever be that someone they promised they wont be.

That even if they change, they're still the same person u knew.

Maybe i do expect alot from a relationship.

But who doesnt when u know tt u're putting in ur effort to make it right.

And maybe cause i know i wont change.

And even if i do, i'll still be me.

So that sums up one of the change of my life this yr.
&to whoever that reads this, do keep this to urself(: